Grief management: how to cope with loss and alleviate emotional pain
Let's explore together what grief is, how the passage of time influences the grieving process, what types of grief are most common, and what we can do to experience it through compassionate and healthy self-care.
What is grief?
Grief is the emotional, physical, and psychological response that we humans naturally experience when faced with a significant loss. This experience not only occurs with the death of a loved one, but can also appear after a breakup (family, partner, or friendship), the loss of a job, a major change in routine, or even in our own health.
Experiencing grief is very personal. Each individual, taking into account their coping styles, considers doing so in a unique and unparalleled way. During the process, we may feel various emotions such as sadness, anger, confusion, nostalgia, or denial. Some people need to talk about it a lot, while others prefer to remain silent. There is no “right” way to go through it. Grief is a process, not a recipe of steps to follow to feel better. The most important thing is to understand that feeling pain does not make us weaker, but rather that pain is part of our lives and is a completely normal reaction to loss. It is a way of adapting to our new context.
Most common types of grief
Although each experience is unique, there are some types of grief that frequently arise in psychological consultations:
Grief due to death: Probably the best known. It can be experienced intensely when the loss is sudden.
Grief due to breakup or separation: When we find ourselves at the end of a relationship, it can generate a feeling of emptiness and disorientation similar to the physical loss of the person.
Grief due to loss of a job or life project: The change of an important part of our identity, such as our job or a personal goal.
Grief due to loss of health: We experience this after a complicated diagnosis or a significant physical change.
Silent or unrecognized grief: There are moments of loss that those around us do not always understand (moving, migration, infertility, pets, life changes).
The passage of time in grief: does it heal or accompany?
We often say that “time heals all wounds,” but in reality, time alone does not heal; what heals is how we manage that time.
As the days go by, emotions tend to change in intensity. The pain softens, memories become less painful, and we begin to rebuild our lives based on our own survival, while managing the loss.
However, if we try to rush through grief or repress our emotions, the grieving process can become stuck. That is why it is important to allow ourselves to feel and connect with ourselves, even if it makes us uncomfortable. Grief needs space, time, and compassion.
How to prevent grief from becoming chronic
Sometimes the discomfort lasts for a long time and does not seem to improve. This can happen when we avoid the pain, do not accept the situation, or get stuck in emotions such as guilt or anger.
We can prevent grief from becoming chronic in the following ways:
Allow unpleasant emotions to arise. Crying, feeling angry, or feeling sad does not mean we are going backwards. It is part of the process, and it is important to channel and accept each of these emotions.
Avoid comparing your process with others. Each person has their own pace.
Ask for help. Sharing how we feel with someone we trust can lighten the load.
Consult a professional. Through psychological therapy, we can come to understand the process and feel supported when the pain becomes difficult to manage.
Strategies for managing and alleviating grief on a daily basis
There are currently no magic formulas for alleviating pain, but there are small everyday gestures that can help us cope with grief and take care of our emotional well-being:
Take care of our body. Sleeping well, eating a regular, balanced diet, and going for walks helps us sustain ourselves in the most difficult moments. The body also feels the loss.
Don't isolate ourselves. Talking to family or friends, or simply being accompanied, can help us not feel alone.
Maintain our usual routine. Gradually returning to daily activities gives us a sense of stability.
Express what we feel. We can do this by writing a letter, looking at photos, listening to music, or creating a small ritual in memory of what we have lost. In this way, we can channel the emotions we feel throughout the process. 5. Look for small moments of relief. Walking, cooking, reading, or being in nature help us reconnect with ourselves.
Be grateful for what we have experienced. When the time comes, thinking about what that person or stage left us can transform pain into gratitude.
Seek professional help if the pain persists. Therapy can be a valuable and humane form of support.
A compassionate look at grief
It is important to understand that grief is not a battle to be won or lost, nor is it an obstacle to be overcome. It is just another experience we go through in life. With time, support, and self-care, the pain is transformed into a learning experience. We never forget the loss, but we can integrate it into a new life story where the memory occupies a peaceful place in our mind and heart.
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